A HOLY MESS | Nervous System, Somatic, Regret, Exhausted, Burnout, Boundaries, Emotional Healing, Christian Mindset, Recovery

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

You're the doer. The one carrying everybody else's stuff. You can name your blind spots and recite your weaknesses on command, and somewhere along the way you got so practiced at being self-critical that celebrating yourself feels almost wrong. Which means you're an empty well, waiting on somebody else to come along and fill you up. In this episode, Dani gets real about why celebrating your wins is the holy work you keep skipping, and what it actually unlocks when you stop deflecting the good. She tells the story of her solo walk through Paris where she thanked previous Dani for setting her up, and met future Dani for a sneak peek of what's coming. She teaches why loving kindness, not self-judgment, is what leads to the change you actually want. And she names two client wins from this week, including a woman who shifted a 25-year mother-daughter dynamic in one trip, as proof that anchoring into a holy moment can rewrite your reality faster than you think. If you're ready to do this work with real support, 1:1 coaching is open and the next discovery call is yours when you book it.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

• Why your gratitude list is not the same as celebrating yourself, and why the second one is the work
• The Paris walk where she thanked previous Dani and met future Dani in the same two hours
• Why "loving kindness leads to repentance" means self-judgment will not get you to your next level
• How to grow your fantasy life when visualization feels like a setup for disappointment
• The boundaries you need around the negative Nellies, even the ones in Christian culture
• Two client wins this week that prove anchoring into a holy moment can rewrite your reality

Glad you're here,

Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

Your brain is loud. Your to-do list is longer than your faith feels right now. And somewhere in the middle of all that noise, God is just asking you to be still. In this special episode, Dani guides you through a short white light body scan meditation — the kind of practice she uses with her 1:1 coaching clients and inside her groups to help you get out of your head and back into your body, your spirit, and your sense of being held by God.

Meditation isn't woo. It's biblical. And it doesn't have to take 30 minutes. This one is brief, powerful, and designed to bring you back to center when the world is spinning. If this kind of deep inner work is what you've been missing, that's exactly what 1:1 coaching with Dani is built around. Book a discovery call at aholymess.com and let's go deeper together.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

• Why meditation is biblical and why Christians should stop being afraid of it
• The triune being framework: how this practice works on your mind, body, and spirit at once
• A guided white light body scan meditation you can do in under 10 minutes
• How to return to this practice anytime you need to come back to center
• What 1:1 coaching with Dani actually looks like and who it's for

Glad you're here,
Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

Shared Joy Is Double Joy: How to Find Your People and Protect Your Peace

Shared joy is doubled. Shared sorrow is halved. That Swedish proverb sounds simple until you realize how many people you've been keeping your struggle, and your good news, from. Maybe you learned early that sharing your wins invites criticism. Maybe the people closest to you can't handle it when things are finally going well. Misery loves company, and Dani is naming it directly: not everyone deserves a seat at your joy. But the right community, one that can actually double your good and carry half your hard, that changes everything.

In this episode, Dani tells the story of six flight delays at the Denver airport and the moment her 17-year-old son Zac quoted her own coaching back at her. What started as a long night turned into one of the richest conversations she's had about agency, community, and what it actually means to carry one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2). She also names the Joel 2:25 era, God renewing the years the locusts have eaten, and closes with a guided Psalm 139 meditation to anchor you in being fully known. If you've been doing this alone, or sharing with the wrong people, 1:1 coaching with Dani is where that changes. And if you're feeling called to do this work for others, the Life Coach Certification is open too.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

• The Swedish proverb she shared with her 17-year-old at 1 a.m. in the Denver airport, and why it changed the night
• Why misery loves company, and how to protect your joy from the people who can't hold it
• The "it's not a conference call" principle: your calling between you and God doesn't need their approval
• Why over-explaining yourself is a sign you were never really heard, and what to do instead
• The Joel 2:25 era: God renewing the years the locusts have eaten, one day at a time
• A guided Psalm 139 meditation to close ("You have searched me, Lord, and you know me")

Glad you're here, Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs permission to stop doing life alone. 🤍

📞 Ready to do the deeper work? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

 

📋 Free Perspective Finder worksheet → https://www.danisumner.com/233

It's All About Perspective: Finding the Gift Inside the Hard Season

You know that spiral. The one where you're stuck in your own mess, comparing yourself to everyone who seems to have it together, and your brain keeps dragging you back to every hard thing on the list. That's not a character flaw. That's the negativity bias, and your brain is just doing its job. But here's what Dani heard from her dog groomer this week, and what a stranger on a plane said to her friend mid-rough-day: it's all about perspective. In this episode, Dani shares a story that will stop you cold (the one with a blind girl and a woman with one arm on an airplane), explains why your brain is wired to go negative and how to actually rewire it, and makes the case that contentment is available to you even in the hardest season. Not Pollyanna pretending. Real perspective. She also shares the time a kink in her neck led to the best massage of her life, and why finding the gift inside the hard thing is how you bridge the gap out of the rut faster. Joel 2:25 is threaded throughout: God renews the years the locusts have eaten, and sometimes He does it in an instant. If you're ready to do that work with someone who is in the weeds right alongside you, 1:1 coaching with Dani starts at aholymess.com.

 

In this episode, Dani talks about:

• The airplane story: what a woman with one arm said to a struggling businessman that stopped him cold and reset everything
• The negativity bias — the science behind why your brain defaults to hard and how to condition yourself out of it
• Why contentment can coexist with hard circumstances, and what it means when it can't
• The kink in the neck that led to the best massage Dani's had in years (and what that has to do with finding God in the middle of the mess)
• Joel 2:25: God renewing the years the locusts have eaten, and why He can do it in an instant
• What it actually looks like to come back home to yourself when you've abandoned your own soul

Glad you're here,
Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

Grab the free Perspective Finder worksheet → https://www.danisumner.com/233

Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now).
1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others.
No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

 

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who's stuck in the spiral. 🤍

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

You've been doing the work for years. The healing, the therapy, the journaling, the prayer, the "why am I still like this" spiral. And sometimes the most honest thing anyone can say is: it takes time. It takes repetition. It takes patience. And it takes someone to remind you that the joy is actually in the journey, not sitting at the finish line waiting.

In this episode, Dani opens a community call with exactly that kind of recalibration. She talks about what it really looks like to take care of your whole system (physically, emotionally, spiritually), why Romans 8:28 isn't just a nice saying but a daily strategy, and what to do when you inherited someone else's negativity without ever signing up for it. She also shares a client story that will land if you've ever thought "I didn't have it that bad" while still feeling like something's off. And she closes with a guided white light visualization and prayer to help you get present, get grounded, and reconnect with the God who designed you on purpose. If you're ready to stop just circling the mountain and start doing the deeper work, 1:1 coaching with Dani is one conversation away. Start at aholymess.com.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

• Why healing takes longer than you want it to, and why that's actually part of the design
• The white light visualization Dani guides you through to reset your nervous system and reconnect with God
• What inherited negativity looks like when your childhood wasn't obviously traumatic
• Romans 8:28 as a daily strategy, not just a comfort verse, and what it looks like to actually put God to the test
• Why your overactive brain is a superpower once you aim it at how good things can get

Glad you're here,
Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're made for more. 🤍

 

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

The Real Reason You're Burned Out: Your Soul Wants a Seat at the Table

You've achieved. You've raised the family. You've done right by God. And somewhere along the way you woke up feeling numb, lost, like you've been a passenger in your own life. In this episode (recorded mid-walk in Dani's backyard), she gets real about waking your soul back up, giving her a seat at the table, and becoming the main character of your own life again.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

• Why striver-women lose themselves while doing all the right things

• The difference between your soul's voice and your shitty committee's voice

• A guided soul check-in you can do right now (breathing + "soul, what do you need?")

• "Everything is awkward until it's elegant": permission to be new at this

Glad you're here, Dani

🎙️ Mentioned in the Episode The "couple drinks on accident" episode Dani referenced: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-holy-mess-nervous-system-somatic-regret-exhausted/id1593131576?i=1000649031720 

Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others (or just to become a better human). No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

 

You've done the deep work. The therapy. The books. The journaling. And you still get triggered, you still slip into the shitty committee, you still reach for the chips or the wine or the doom scroll before your brain catches up. In this episode (a peek inside one of Dani's group sessions), she gives you 7 practical tools to calm the storm so you can actually do the deeper identity shift work and step into your next level.

She shares the thesis that "practical isn't sexy, but it's very, very needed," the client story about Jane who learned to giggle at her own shitty committee instead of crucifying herself, and the reframe that will change how you think about the hard people in your life: honor your allergies.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

• Why root work alone keeps you circling the same mountain

• The "house on fire inside the house" chaos most of us are actually fighting

• 7 practical tools to reach for the moment a trigger hits (walking, classical music, air lunges, box breathing, calling a friend, dancing, ping pong or a tennis ball)

• The "honor your allergies" reframe for the people who keep triggering you

• A simple boundary that saved a friend's sleep (no calls with her daughter past noon)

• Joel 2:25 and the years the locusts have eaten

If your shitty committee has been running you ragged and you're ready to do the deeper identity shift work, this is what I do with my 1:1 clients (and what I train inside the Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this work for others). Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com, or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner if you're ready to grab a spot right now. And if you're not ready yet, this episode will hit like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the ass all at once.

Glad you're here, Dani

🎵 From the Episode Dani's classical music playlist for nervous system regulation: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2AIyLES2xJfPa6EOxmKySl?si=YA5K4BzPTmCWiyrxucOrQg&pi=0GwGP2rIRnOWV

Want to Go Deeper? 💫
Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

 

Your brain is doing the thing again. Spinning every scenario, asking every question, mapping every worst case. You can feel the anxiety climbing and you cannot think your way out of it. In this episode, Dani gets real about the overthinking spiral, the gift hiding inside your monkey brain, and the one line that changes everything: overthinking is not healed by more thinking.

She shares the box breathing pattern she uses with clients, the truth that your shitty committee does not get to run the rest of your day, and why getting out of your head and into your body is how the Holy Spirit actually speaks to you.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

• Why your overthinking brain is a gift, not a curse

• The one-line reframe: overthinking is not healed by more thinking

• How to name the spiral out loud so it loses its grip

• Box breathing (4-4-4) for when your nervous system is racing

• Getting back into your body so you can actually hear your intuition

• How to shut down the shitty committee and the critic upstairs

If your shitty committee has been running you ragged and you're ready to actually become friends with your brain instead of being attacked by it, this is exactly the work I do with my 1:1 clients. Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com and let's figure out your next right step. And if you're not ready for that yet, this episode will hit like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the tail all at once.

Glad you're here,
Dani

Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫 Friend, if you're feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there's MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you're ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I've got something for you.

🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step.

🌟 "Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification" --Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours.

➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today to schedule your call with Dani.

No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

Life keeps lifing. You know what you need to do for yourself, but somewhere between the to-do list and the people who need you, you keep landing at the bottom of your own priority list. In this episode, Dani gets real about the foundational practices she comes back to every time she starts to drift, and the mantra that rewired everything.

She shares the magical moment in Paris where she thanked the past version of herself for the work that set her up to be on that solo trip, the line that has changed her mornings ("I'm unavailable to put Dani on the back burner"), and why she thinks motivation is, in her words, a crock of shit.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

- Why prioritizing yourself is the opposite of selfish (and how to spot the lie)
- The 5 non-negotiable morning practices that keep her grounded
- The alarm clock trick that gets you out of bed every time
- Why burnout heals in the middle of life, not on a six-month sabbatical
- Gentle somatic practices to wake up a fried nervous system
- The Serenity Prayer as a daily reset button

If you've been carrying everyone else and you keep landing last on your own list, this episode will hit like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the ass all at once. When you're ready to stop putting yourself on the back burner for real, book a free discovery call and let's figure out your next right step together.

Glad you're here,
Dani

Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫 Friend, if you're feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there's MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you're ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I've got something for you.

🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step.

🌟 "Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification" --Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours.

➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️ Visit https://calendly.com/danisumner to schedule your call with Dani.

No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram

You've done the inner work. So why does it still feel like you're circling the same mountain? In this episode, Dani gets real with her longtime therapist Jim Beebe about what's next when the healing work starts asking to become something bigger.

She shares the moment Jim called her "a trauma looking for a drama," the Richard Rohr line that changed her ("those who don't transform their pain will transmit their pain"), and the reframe that landed hardest: the past becomes a story you own, not an experience you keep living.

 

In this episode, Dani and Jim talk about:

- Why some of us get addicted to our own trauma

- The shift from "what then" work to "what now" work

- The wounded healer paradox: you grow by giving it away

- How to tell when you're ready to coach others (and when you're not)

- The difference between business coaching and transformational coaching

- What it feels like to move from reactive to responsive

 

If you've felt the tug to turn what you've walked through into something that helps other people walk through their own mess, the Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification was built for this season. Book a free discovery call at https://calendly.com/danisumner and let's see if it's your next right step. And if you're not there yet, this episode will still hit like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the ass all at once.

 

Glad you're here,

Dani

 

Ready to Go to Your Next Level? 💫 Friend, if you're feeling the tug, that stirring inside that says there's MORE for you, I want to talk to you. Whether you're ready to do the deep life transformation work or you feel called to help OTHER people transform their lives, I've got something for you.

🌟 1:1 Life Coaching & Transformation Programs If you're craving more peace, more joy, more purpose, and you're ready to stop just surviving and start THRIVING! Let's connect. Book a free discovery call and let's figure out together if one of my programs is your next right step.

🌟 "Messy Life Transformation Life Coach Certification" --Do you feel called to help people? Are you someone who's been through the hard stuff and now wants to turn that pain into purpose? Getting certified as a life coach through my program is one of the most holy, rich, and powerful things you can do; not just for your clients, but for YOU. It changed my life. And it can change yours.

➡️ Book Your FREE Discovery Call Today ➡️ Visit https://calendly.com/danisumner to schedule your call with Dani.

No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If This Episode Spoke to You… Would you do me a favor and leave a review? It helps so many more people find this community. And share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that they're not where they used to be, and that's WORTH celebrating. 🤍

🌟To learn more about Dani & to join the newsletter list-> https://www.danisumner.com/

🌟 Follow me on YouTube

🤳🏼 ALSO, let's connect on social media: Facebook, Instagram -> Facebook and Instagram